ECHOES
Gibberish by Zayury
Pictures by Zayury
The house never felt so empty....every room feels immense! As I stand here looking at the emptiness around me I hear the echoes of your voices, the echoes of your laughter, and see the echoes of the past....
Echoes of my babies running to greet me at the front door when I would arrive home from work...
The long arduous day in a low paying thankless job.... The endless irritating drives back and forth to work and home.... Every frustrating moment was forgotten in my little ones arms!
I see the empty living room and see the echoes of your moments there....I knew it was going to happen. I wanted it to happen for you. It's a fact of life I know that, I understand that! Our children grow up and they have to leave home to start their own lives.... But knowing and wanting it to happen did not prepare me for this emptiness for this excruciating pain....
I walk down the hallway and see the echoes of your childhood games.... I hear the echoes of the ones that are no longer here.... and I can hardly breathe....
I walk by your rooms and I can't help myself. As my hand grasps the doorknob I imagine your little soft hands opening and closing your doors...and I feel the echo of your little hands holding mine...
My little girl, my little angel I see your empty room and through my tears I see you playing there....
I sit on your empty bed and feel the echoes of your presence there... Playing, laughing, singing, crying, first love, first heartbreak.... Oh God help me....I can't breathe! My chest hurts! I did not know it was going to hurt this much! I did not understand!!
So many times you wanted me to join you in your games, but I was too tired from work, to busy with my 'grown up' things!
Now I live for the weekly phone calls from you, I live for the quick short e-mails from you... I know my baby girl... you are busy too....
My son, my beautiful little boy... I remember how you would run to hug me and give me my 'surprise' for that day! You thought they were pretty flowers... oh how you made me smile my precious son... I could not find it in me to tell you my little one that your little 'flowers' were actually little weeds...
I walk to your room my darling son and instead of emptiness I see the echoes... Playing with your toy cars....my sweet beautiful baby boy...
Scraped knees, childhood illnesses, school sports, sneaking to the kitchen in the middle of the night to get cookies.... My little brat....my little angel... I love you with all my heart!
Don't get upset my son I know you are a man now. I know you have to make your own decisions even if I know that you are making a mistake... I'm sorry my baby boy it's hard for me to stand by and watch you head in the wrong direction... How can I explain to you that when I look at you I don't see the man but the echo of my little boy smiling proudly with a weed/flower in his hand...
Echoes of my past... My babies you just wanted to include me in your games.... if I could go back I would hang up that phone....
Echoes of your past... My beautiful angels you just wanted to spend time with me.... I should have never turned away....
AAAAAAA!!! All these regrets! All these wasted moments! My babies please forgive me for not paying more attention, for not spending more time with you...
Lord, please help me learn to breathe again....
5 comments:
Damon 3/22/08 3:31 AM
It was so sad! :(
But it was good! :D
Not even good, excellent! :D
I like the effects on the pictures u added but pictures or not it still would of been good! :D
ZAYURY 3/22/08 3:35 AM
Oh my sweet, dear Damon, THANK-YOU very much my young friend! :wub: You are up a little late aren't you? LOL! :D I'm very happy you liked it my dear Damon! :)
Ophelia 3/22/08 3:44 AM
Oh my, Zayury. This was so powerful I almost called my mother to tell her how sorry I am for moving to another country, but my prepaid-card is empty... Not being a mother myself I guess I don't fully grasp the feeling of the text but being on the recieving end I really do see a mother's job in a whole new way.
You write so poetically and my heart beats in tune with the words.
And your pics are great, so full of expressions and great use of effects that cause an almost nauseating feeling. Also those dreamy frames on the flashbacks are both helpful and a nice touch.
The interesting and break-through thing about the pics this time are those "moving" ones. Such a tremendous effect and great idea! I especially liked the ones where you see the rooms before and after, and also the children as kids and adults.
All in all I must say it was so well planned and well done! You have me in awe!
Beth 3/22/08 7:27 AM
really stunning; a depth of emotion that makes it hard to read, although you write beautifully and eloquently.
I love the shots, particularly the flashbacks with the overlays. They are truly lovely!
ZAYURY 3/22/08 10:22 AM
My dear sweet Ophelia: Thank-you very much my dear friend for every single word! :wub: You are a silly girl, go get more minutes on your calling card, now! Lol! :D Sooo, some of the effects made you dizzy?! Are you sure it wasn't that vodka bottle? ROFL ;p I'm thrilled that you liked the 'moving' pics my friend, from the moment I thought about making this piece I knew it had to have them! I love your comments my friend! :wub:
My dear Beth: Well, I was definitely crying as I was writing it! :blushing: Thank-you my dear Beth for the wonderful comment! I'm very happy that you liked it! :wub:
s_cains 3/22/08 10:32 AM
I want to cry!
It was so beautiful...
Especially the mother sim, Phwoar!!!
So sad and so real.
Beautiful pictures too, I love all of your effects.
Just lovely!
Sam x
Astral Faery 3/22/08 10:40 AM
Oh, Zayury! If you ever say you can't write again I'll have to smack you! This is so so beautiful, touching, and heartbreaking. I'm sitting here wiping my tears away so I can see the screen! And I know you put a part of yourself into this, it touched a personal nerve. So wonderfully done.
And the pictures! My gosh, where do I even start? The changing ones are so cool! Very clever. But I think my favorit one is of the kids skipping down the hallway in front of their mother, looking like shadows. And the doorknob. Breathtaking! Really spectacular!
Sheer brilliance, my friend. Nothing short of magnificent.
ZAYURY 3/22/08 10:53 AM
My sweet dear Sam: I'm honored that you left me a comment my dear friend, I know how 'lazy' you can get, lol! ;p I'm sorry my young friend that it made you want to cry...NOT! :D So you liked Zuyan, interesting! :D I'm thrilled you liked the pics my friend, thank-you very much for the sweet feedback! :wub:
My sweet dear Ariana: THANK-YOU my friend! :wub: I knew this would definitely touch all mothers! You are right a HUGE part of me went into this piece...:wub: I put a lot of work into the pics and the effects, I'm very, very happy that you liked them and that they 'spoke' to you! :wub: ;)
s_cains 3/22/08 11:17 AM
Yes. Lazy me... LOL!!!
But how could I not leave a comment ;)
drewsoltesz 3/22/08 11:25 AM
It is truly a moving piece, never having children, I cannot imagine the heartbreak. But you capture the regret and longing so vividly!
And what can I say about your shots!?
Wow! The dreamy/flashback cadence is astounding! Love it!
You? Can't write? Balderdash!! LOL!
You should be proud!!
Cheers my mate!!
~~Karen *hugs*
sandybvv 3/22/08 11:39 AM
:( My dear friend, this piece brought tears to my eyes...
I don't even know what to say, where to start...
It's a moving piece, heartfelt, and heartbreaking.
Your pictures WOW.
For the first time I really don't know what else to say, I think I need to call my mom :(
Thank you my friend, for your wonderful work of art, you are great, and this is truly a Masterpiece ...
Beautiful, yet so sad and painful
ZAYURY 3/22/08 4:54 PM
Karen, my dear and wonderful friend: I could not have don't this without your advice and motivating words! THANK-YOU my friend! :wub: :wub:
My sweet dear Sandy: I thank you for your support and heartwarming feedback! Yes my friend, call your mom! :wub: :wub:
Leah 3/22/08 5:50 PM
My dear, sweet friend... what can I possibly say?
It's so beautiful, so heartbreaking. The story, the pictures...
It leaves me feeling sad, but in a good way.
I can only hope I won't feel that empty and lost when my darlings have left the nest. But thankfully that won't be for a while yet.
Still, life goes by so fast, and fourteen years seems like just one day.
I think I'd better shut up now.
ZAYURY 3/22/08 6:06 PM
My dear Leah, my wonderful friend, I also hope you will not feel like that either... Thank-you my friend for your beautiful words and for your loving support! :wub: :wub:
Gayl 3/23/08 3:39 AM
Very moving and effective piece Zayury. Your creative shots really enhance the emotions in a beautifully written piece.
It was easy to put myself in her place...being a single parent, working, trying to fill the day with so much can really take its toll. Time passes so quickly that it is important to remember to give time to your children and yourself.
ZAYURY 3/23/08 12:01 PM
Thank-you very much Gayl, I really do appreciate your kind words and your support! :) It is very hard to be a single parent, especially after a very hard day at work dealing with stupid coworkers or irritating clients! :D
sweetcharming 3/23/08 1:27 PM
Dear Zayury - I had to cry.
That's all I can say and I think it says all.
ZAYURY 3/23/08 3:56 PM
My dear Sweet, thank-you for the huge compliment! You did not need to say anymore my friend! Take care my dear... :wub:
Jane 3/25/08 8:41 AM
I have read this piece three times and have cried each time. All my boys have flown the nest. Such true words and I am guilty of them all. Wonderful work
ZAYURY 3/25/08 4:23 PM
My dear sweet Jane...I was crying the whole time I was writing it, and more when I took the pictures... I really did see my babies in each and every one of them! Thank-you my dear friend for your support and caring feedback! :wub:
Colliegirl 6/26/08 3:43 PM
This is a very good message to anyone who has children. I was very touched by what you had to say. Children grow up so fast and then they move off on their own to make their own lives... their own families. It's very hard to let them go.
It minds me of my own children who are growing up so fast. I have a son who is very close to graduating from high school. And two girls following right behind him. How time sure flies from that moment when you first held them in your arms and marveled at how tiny and helpless they were.
That was truly beautiful, Zayury! Hope you're taking good care of yourself and that we hear from you again soon. TTFN!
ZAYURY 10/13/08 12:22 AM
My dear Tammy, THANK-YOU very much for that lovely comment! :wub: I'm sorry it has taken me so long to answer, after being gone for so long I'm playing catch up! :)
Time definitely does fly my friend, I wish I had known better then maybe I could have done more with my little ones... I guess no matter what we always have some regrets...
chardonnay 10/29/08 8:03 AM
I see that I am not the only one who writes from the heart.
I agree a very powerful piece.
A mother's love, a very powerful emotion.
All I can say is maybe I am not feeling it that intensely because my children are so spaced apart age-wise.
And yet, I go thru it all the same in spurts.
I see the shadows of what used to be, when my children reached important milestone in their lives.
The babe nestled all bundled up , in the crook of my arm, so intent upon memorizing their tiny features, as they in return, try to memorize mine, Eyes crossing.
The little finger and handprints on the walls, as they grow up, and the first day of school, their apprehension that flows away when they come home with a big smile because they met a new friend.
High school graduation, and then marriage.
And of course the birth of the new generation.
I have been thru it all once completely, started a second time again. Have two more to go.
I feel the tugs on my heart, but I have been here all the time. From this side of things, the stay at home mom. I remember the things they forget. And I become secondary to their goals. Which I believe is as it should be, as sad as that is.
But I rest easy knowing that I have done all that I can, and they can take care of themselves now.
I hope that eases the empty nest syndrome that I know is coming.
But still I cannot let go of the joy of knowing I will be free to live my life for myself at that time.
ZAYURY 10/29/08 8:14 AM
Oh, my dear Melissa, thank-you! Thank-you for your support, for the positive feedback, and for sharing your beautiful thoughts with me! :wub:
This was good!
I am not a parent, nor will I ever be a parent. But, I looked at it differently.
Six years ago, my father died. He was 71. Before he died, the family got together once a week for dinner and a game of Scrabble. We did this for years. It was like a family tradition. We'd play for hours. No matter how much I complained I didn't want to go, I'd go. And, I always ended up having a good time.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is, no matter how much time I spent with my father, to me, it wasn't enough. I think I'm still stuck in my "guilt phase" Every time he had to go to the doctor's, I took him. Every time he was rushed to the hospital, I was there. Any time anything happened to that man, I was there.
Or, maybe I just miss him?
As a mother of two grown daughters, I can truly relate to your empty nest syndrome.
I will never forget the day my oldest told me she was moving out. I felt as though a 100 lb weight landed on my chest. I couldn't breathe and can still remember how much pain I was in over the ordeal.
I was blessed to be able to stay home with my two children. I have always been extremely close to them and hope to remain so til the end of my days.
It isn't easy when they leave us. I felt your pain while reading Echoes and have lived it, my dear Zayury.
Beautifully told...
Your screenshots always enhance your stories in every way possible, and this time around, is no exception.
Dear Ed, I am trully sorry for your loss... I lost my mother in 2002 (also 6 years ago)... I totally understand the guilt my friend, I feel it too every day! It is now since my mami's been gone that I understand what she went through, now that it is happening to me... I wish I could tell her so many things and do more things with her but it's too late, she is gone...
Thank-you my dear Ed for taking the time to read 'Echoes' and for the heartfelt comment!
My dear Sugah, THANK-YOU! From our previous e-mails I knew you would understand completely what I was talking about in this piece! Thank-you for ALL YOUR SUPPORT my friend and for your wonderful words!
No words I could say would completely give justice to what I hear and feel in your story. I too have children and face the same day as you. You are a wise beautiful Lady! Turning back the clock and living those days again. Is a dream I can say we both share a like. In dreams there is the family. “The family complete”. Blessed are you with this gift. Thank you for sharing some of your time with me.
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